How to Spot a Creep
I’ve added an extra category today that is meant to hold all my posts about how to be a gentleman in today’s world. It’s called “Stay Classy” and will contain posts about my thoughts and rants on the subject of living with class,, places in and around town where you can have a classy time, style tips, slick gadgets, anecdotes and more. I kind of already have been doing this but have not made it an organized category so here we go. For your reference, read this poem by Rudyard Kipling.
How to Spot a Creep
I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy being a man of good character in today’s world. The unfortunate thing is that many guys have their hearts crushed at some point early on by a girl and that usually sends them down a path that makes being a gentleman seem like a chump’s game. It makes sense, I suppose, as I guess it’s only human to fight fire with fire and take revenge. But when you put it into perspective you will find that these big heart breaks usually happen to guys at a younger age, meaning that the supposedly evil girl that broke their heart was likely just as immature as the guy who got his “shot.” I’m not saying girls here are completely without fault, but let’s face it – is it that surprising that your junior high or high school flame didn’t stick around? Should we really expect devoted monogamy at such a young age?
The point is that you get older and you gain perspective – at least that’s what SHOULD happen. However a LOT of guys don’t really grow up when they should. We don’t stop and think that it’s maybe time to reevaluate and update our outlook to an age-appropriate state.
All I’m saying is “get over it” and focus on building yourself and growing. Don’t go out there and foul the waters for the few men out there that treat women better. Even if you suffer a bad breakup in the here and now, take the time to heal and get over it. Don’t go on a sex spree to try and rebuild your fragile ego while turning otherwise willing and outgoing women into jaded cat ladies. My experience is that if the relationship ended, it’s usually for the best.
I see it all the time in men right up to the age of 30 and, in some cases, older. The worst thing is that a lot of these guys can be real creeps. Creepy guys are the absolute worst. It’s one thing to like women and tell them that, it’s another thing to prey on their niceness and essentially force them to give you their number, or follow you on Twitter or Facebook. Just cause she replies to your messages here and there does not mean that she’s interested. Don’t freaking message her and tell her that she should come over some time out of the blue. Don’t find ways to “bump into her” and don’t think that you’re some kind of Lothario that can just tell her that you want to take her home without putting in the work.
The social media scene in Toronto for me is not really my romance broker, but not because I eschew it on principle. It’s just that we’re such busy people that quality time is hard to come by. But I’m sick of hearing girls and guys say “I don’t date people on twitter.” That’s just stupid — it’s like saying you won’t date someone because they go to the same university as you.
It’s a social atmosphere and that means that romances are bound to bud. Who cares if a girl you like previously dated this or that guy on twitter? What difference does it make? If you can’t be discreet and classy in your dealings then perhaps you should not date other people from the “twitter scene” but if you are a mature adult this is not a problem at all. It’s just the creepy guys who really stink up the joint. I would tell you ladies just to learn to spot them before they trick you into bed with them.
Here’s a few ways to spot them. Note: some of these signs do not a creep make. They usually are part of the general makeup of any guy who likes a girl – there’s nothing wrong with them alone. The key to discerning one from the other is that there are some stand alone traits that are common to creeps and creeps only. I’ve put a red @ next to the ones that are particularly distinguishable in the creepo.
- Overly frequent texts/tweets/DMs at you with invites to his house or other innuendo. @
- generally suspect reputation among his peers @
- a tendency to show up to any and all tweetups, parties, small group meets – with or without invitation @
- shifting eyes (this is not unique to creeps as some good guys are just shy and nervous around you)
- talking about you more than anything with you. (this is because they look for a hobby or pursuit that you’re passionate about and get you gabbing as they take notes to formulate a line to get you into a bar/car/bed)
- Live at home (not common to all, I’ve just noticed a significant majority of these guys tend to live at home)
- Fragile ego (although you won’t see this till you reject him – if you do) @
- little regard for possible awkward circumstance – i.e. they work with you but don’t take the steps to keep things discreet
- Finds you at your most vulnerable and takes advantage – it’s like they have a sixth sense for this! @
- preys on your kindness @
It’s tricky to say the least because once you’re under his spell your common sense is out the window. Usually it’s a woman’s curiosity that will put on the kibosh. A note about item 8 – workplace romance can and sometimes do blossom but a creepy guy will usually put things on the fast track which is the real distinguisher from a natural romance. Workplace romances can be tricky and risky but if you take the time to let it blossom then they are doable I suppose. I usually shy away from them, but that’s just me. Comment if you have any other telltale signs to add to the list, but keep it civil!
Tune in next time when I take you to the ONLY bar in Toronto that can make a Vesper Martini a la James Bond!