No More Cancer, No More Fear
I’ve been playing this pretty close to the chest, everyone. I didn’t want to worry people and I’m certainly not the type to fish for sympathy so I kept this one hush hush for the most part. My first post on this blog kind of jumped the gun. Almost 2 months ago I went to see the doctor about a mysterious lump in my chest and his prognosis was mixed so he sent me for an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician told me that there was definitely something there but that I was going to be fine. I stupidly took that as meaning that everything was fine. I tend to be optimistic.
So that day I started my blog as a way to celebrate life, talk about what I’m doing with my life, and shine the spotlight on my good friends, old and new, because they have really made an impact on me. Then the bad news came a few days later. A phone call saying that the doctor wanted to see me in person immediately to discuss the test results. It wasn’t a good feeling. He told me that there was a good chance that the lump was a tumor and then referred me to a specialist. It was 2 weeks between my last meeting with the doc and the specialist. In that time I haven’t breathed a word about my condition to more than 5 people. Yesterday I saw the surgeon/specialist and it was tense because it was the day I would get the news on whether I would need to go through the rigors of cancer treatment or get a clean bill of health.
I don’t get nervous too often. Perhaps it’s an emotion that I reserve for the final 30 minutes before I take the stage, but the fact that this surgeon’s office was packed with religious symbols threatened to break my cool. This painting on his wall was just brutal. It really could be interpreted one of two ways: Either Jesus is with the surgeon and is guiding his hand to success OR (and I tended to lean towards this one) Jesus is hanging around because he’s about to receive a new soul for his flock. Pardon the tasteless pun but all I could think was “Holy shit, I’m a dead man!”
You cannot begin to imagine the overwhelming sense of relief and joy that fell upon me when the surgeon told me that I was going to be alright and that he was “100% sure” this time that there is no cancer! My life-long friend and de-facto attorney,Mark, (pictured at the top of this post in an inquisitive state) came with me to the office and I just had to jump on him right there in the waiting room with the good news. Best. Hug. Ever. (no homo).
So what’s a man to do with this good news? Karaoke with the best people in Toronto! That’s what! last night’s loserkaraoke was just epic. I only told a few people about my reason to celebrate because this, to me, was a private little victory. It was a reminder of how I need to press on with my dreams and pursue the paths that lay before me. To make my father (rest his soul) proud and to build something that will help my fellow man in the future.
I got a lot accomplished yesterday, inquired about all the professional loans I needed to pay the exorbitant tuition for law school and spent a good day with a friend who I’ve known for about 26 years, not counting the years I wasn’t sentient, I hope that the friends I’ve made and am making now in Toronto will get to know me as well as Mark does and will stay in touch for many years to come. Although law school will take me out of Toronto for a little while I know now that my roots are there and I will march on with my friends and family in Toronto in my heart. Cancer free.