I’m not really the brooding type anymore. I suppose I grew out of that years ago, but I still like heavy metal. I think there is a place for just about every type of music out there, including Nickelback. Their music belongs in a garbage dump, or Hollywood Squares, or as elevator music in hell. All the same.

michael Nus - metal gumdrop

Don't talk WATCH!

So I loves my metal because when ever you’re feeling down and don’t have an appetite for happy go lucky music, you can always listen to bands who are way more angry about something than you are. They are so angry that they have yell it into an already loud microphone.

Yes, I was in a metal band in my mysterious and sordid past, but we don’t speak of these things. Instead I will say that a good ear bashing and a headbang has gotten me through stressful times in the past. Most members of metal bands that I’ve met are actually the nicest and most well-adjusted people I’ve ever met. Of course they are! If you could get in front of an audience and scream away all your woes, you too would be a lot saner than the majority of people who bottle it up. Hell, it really did wonders for me back in the day before I discovered the gym.

Anyway, the cool thing about metal is that it’s not always to be taken that seriously. In fact I would say that most metal is a parody of darker themes at best and works the same way as stand up comedy does in that it covers the most dark subjects, yet makes light of them. This video has been a favourite of mine on YouTube for a couple years now and I would like to share a little heavy metal comedy with you.

Just stay silent during the entirety or I swear I’ll cut you up with a linoleum knife.