The Holy Trinity of Happiness
My Life
The great journey and my near brushes with the big man.
Wedding Bashers
1
Larry will always remember the day he lost his good arm.
I’m not too crazy about weddings. Well American weddings, to be exact. I think the song I embedded above pretty much sums it all up nicely as to why. I guess the main thing is that they seem to be devoid of the culture that I’ve grown up accustomed to. I was raised with loud, boisterous European sensibilities tempered with a classy edge, so I tend to view American weddings as bizarre and alien undertakings because for the most part they can be rather dull.
There’s just something about their pomp and circumstance that seems to defeat the purpose of such a joyous occasion. There’s also the all-too-common “bridezilla” that our western culture tends to breed. Maybe it’s because getting married in America has become more of a checkbox on the linear road of life – you know, you finish school, get a job, find yourself a girl and put a ring around her finger as soon as you can and then hopefully have kids before she turns 35 at the very latest.
So you have this wedding and hire the band or DJ, eat some bland but beautifully presented food and avoid the dance floor like it’s made of lava until some brave soul who’s 9 drinks in at the open bar ventures out to do the funky chicken. Then there’s the question of “how much do I give the bride and groom in my mandatory card?” Another thing is the fact that it’s pretty much guaranteed that the happy couple do not know at least 15 – 20% of the guests – sometimes it’s as high as 40% due to the +1s that people bring so they don’t show up alone.
Some might say “oh boo hoo, Mike! Free food and open bar!” Well, actually it’s not really free as many of you who have been to a wedding any time recently may have recalled a box with a slot in the top somewhere near the table where you get your seating card. You’re supposed to put money in there for the bride and groom – at least $100 per person. Go ahead and feel terrible if you didn’t know what the box was for or avoided the box altogether up till now.
The big problem with American weddings is that because of the above factors, people get to doing a lot of small talk to pass the time (and believe me, you’re sure to be in for at least 5 hours). “so, what do you do?” “are you here with a date? You’re NOT?!? (look of disapproval followed by whispers to familiars speculating that you may be gay) “Oh I don’t want to dance, this isn’t my song” (you mean you can’t dance), “yep yep, well I should get going, work in the morning you know!” and the biggest one that gets my goat is that people ACTUALLY complain about this, that, or the other!
I’ve been to more weddings than I can count and the only ones I’ve enjoyed are the cultural ones. And I mean the ones that are unabashedly cultural to the point that they completely ignore what country they are in. For example Greek and Israeli weddings are so much fun you forget you’re at a “wedding” altogether People are so freaking happy and uninhibited that the wedding can last well into the wee hours. And since the band is also of the same culture they will play all damn night until they pass out!
Yumminess is next to godliness
The last Greek one I went to, I was so happy for my friend and the bazouki music was blaring and the Ouzo was flowing that I got carried away! We destroyed every plate the venue had and even burned money (literally) in large denominations - 50s and 100s!
Sunday night, I went to a wedding that I totally expected to be a snorefest but then I realized it was an Israeli wedding once I arrived and I knew it would be a gong show. At Israeli weddings the bride and groom are treated like rockstars. They always have talented live bands and singers who play Mizrachi music and the MC always announces the married couple like they are about to box each other at Madison Square Garden. The dancing is epic and it pretty much feels like you’re at a hot club where everyone loves each other. The food is fantastically spicy, salty, sweet and savoury and the liquor at the tables is bottomless. Typically you will get a flute of champagne, a large wineglass, a small wineglass and a shot glass at the table. Tonight’s wedding had full bottles whiskey and Vodka at each table for the shot glasses and I definitely partook. We made sure our friend’s wedding was freaking awesome and there were almost no wallflowers.
Where am I going with this? This post is supposed to be anti-wedding. I guess the hate-on is limited to the North American ones then. After all, I do happen to live on that continent so the majority of the weddings I go to tend to be the kind I don’t like. The high divorce rate in this part of the world doesn’t exactly help me either with my opinion. The combination of those two things and my generally poor relationship skills have made me deathly afraid of weddings in that context.
I know that IF I ever tie the knot I will only invite people I know personally, I will make sure the band is freaking awesome and is capable of getting people grooving and moving. I will make the donation box optional or find another way to raise the money if needed in some way that feels less obligatory (i.e. charity poker and blackjack) and I will make sure the food is delicious. If my bride is of a certain culture I will make sure to fully represent her tradition and mix it with my Italian/Middle Eastern roots to make it something really special for the guests. Those of you who know me and have been to #NusCabana know that I like to be hospitable, so the above should not surprise you.
All I can say to conclude this post is that I know that many girls dream of that princess wedding for themselves. But I would like to put forth that if you’re going to have a wedding and invite people, consider that the reception is really more for them than it is for you. Concern yourself with your honored guests and worry less about making every little detail perfect and expensive. Make sure you know and care about all your guests and if there are a few +1s make sure you get around to greeting them. You have the rest of your lives to spend together and it’s important to know that not every day can be as exciting as your wedding day, so don’t compare the coming months and years to it lest you find yourself unhappy. Weddings are for the guests. The trick is inviting the ones who love the couple and know them well enough to want to make that day fun and special as thanks for honoring them with an invitation. Party until you can’t party no more because if ever there was a reason to do so, getting married is it – so forget what you have to do the next day until the next day comes.
I was going to put up some cool videos, but for some reason the connection at my midtown apartment has a .20mbps upload speed so it’s pictures for today until I settle it with Rogers.
Law is a lady
9
Law is a lady
The rain today is pathetic fallacy in that it represents the struggle I have been faced with over the past few months.
It all started so innocuously nearly a year ago when I returned to Toronto from New York with barely a penny in my pocket but with lots of ambition. One journey had ended and it was time to embark on one that I had been putting off for too long. I decided to get serious about pursuing a legal education. Every spare moment I had when I was juggling multiple jobs in a shitty economy was spent studying. I wasted no time in writing the LSAT not once, but twice. The task of applying to all those schools was grueling but I was running on a wing a wing and a prayer. Before I knew it I got carried away and started applying to USA schools once I ran out of Canadian schools that I wanted to try for. And wouldn’t you know it, I got it into a few! Alas, it was not meant to be this time around. However I’m still smiling.
’tis easy enough to be pleasant when life flows on like a song, but the man worthwhile is the man who will smile when everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Well things didn’t do dead wrong really. I’m still optimistic and there are many opportunities that present themselves to me daily. I suppose law school was just not meant to be for this particular year as far as US schools go. Money is money and the US
The road to success is laden with rewards
schools wanted way more than I was able to shell out to make an American degree a reality. So I decided to defer my entrance until I can come back and decide on my own terms in a year’s time.
It was a storm of a dilemma in my mind as to what to do about it. Do I take that huge bank loan knowing full well that it doesn’t even cover tuition and risk doing poorly in L1 – the most important year of a legal career, or do I wait it out?
I chose the latter today and it wasn’t an easy decision. Coptic and Kabbalistic tradition tells of weighing one’s soul against the weight of a feather on the scales of justice – at least as far as final judgment is concerned. The process of making the decision for me was analogous to that traditional lore. On one end 
of the scale was my featherweight heart while on the other was my brain. In the past I’ve always thought I had to decide between one or the other but today it seems they have balanced out. It is not with a heavy heart that I make my decision to defer my entrance for up to a year. In fact, a great weight has lifted and I feel like I’ve made the right choice. I know what my heart wants, now I just have to use my brain to make it happen. The coming year will be interesting and a lot may change, but at least I am starting with a positive outlook. I figure law is a lady: I have to let her go and when she’s ready she will come back to me when I’m ready.
The storm has passed, the rain has washed away my doubts and I begin again, stronger. The starting line has been painted and I’m ready to race. Hello Toronto, you’ll always be home.
Ya Flea Market Varmint!
1
Sorry for the blog silence, but the birthday weekend has been way busy. Stay tuned for the post on the RUSH concert and #NusCabana festivities! Today is my actual birthday so say hi in the comments and share on twitter!
Got shanghaied out to the 400 market the other day. Never been there but I must say I was delighted to explore all the redneck wares that are bound to show up at a place that’s so up north. There’s nothing you cant find there and that includes completely random things like old ColecoVision and NES games, dangerous weapons (we’re talking nunchuks and wicked looking swords) and random medicine as in the picture above.
I’m pretty sure that most of the booths were just selling things they either found in their homes or stolen from the back of a truck. One booth in particular had the following: 1 disposable Venus leg shaver, tennis racket, stuffed bear, bag of popcorn, 1 pair of basketball shorts, lint, 1 pair of shoelaces, astroglide, 1988 Olympics hat.
Rad. I wanna go back there and get a skull cane with a hidden sword in the handle. It was there and I should have bought it for the +4 awesomeness rating on my raid gear.
They also had RC helicpotahs!
Who’s Placenta is in my hair??
4
Where to toots? Your placenta or my placenta?
So I decided to take a shower in the extra room today. It has an ensuite bathroom stocked with everything a person could need, such as soap, conditioner, placenta shampoo….
WHAT?! Yes shampoo made from honest to goodness, 100% placenta! I have two problems with this.
- I didn’t bother to read the label until after I had already lathered it into my hair
- WHO’S PLACENTA IS IN MY HAIR?????!?
Question 2 give me nightmares. The picture above was taken with my camera like 10 minutes ago.
What is the freakin’ deal with this movement of weirdos who believe there is some profound health benefit in using placenta as some kind of panacea? What the hell is it doing in a shampoo bottle in my shower and why would anyone in their right mind choose “Hask Placenta” over something less
Om nom nom
disgusting like Pert Plus? Even if it does have some sort of small benefit to health, are we assuming that there aren’t enough other things that occur naturally that are just as healthy without the cannibalistic twist?
Did you know that there is even a significant movement of vegetarians who only eat placenta as the exception to their diets sans viande? Their reasoning is that “placenta is the only meat that didn’t have to die.” It’s gone so far that there are even entire websites dedicated to different recipes for the preparation of placenta. Hey, if Tom Cruise likes it, why shouldn’t you, right? I was going to put a link up to some recipe pages but the images were far too revolting and I don’t want to give those sites the hits and I don’t want to be hit by my viewers with hatemail as if I was the douchebag who sent you all a link to 2 girls 1 cup. So explore at your own risk but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Although I do have to admit that using placenta as shampoo is kinda metal.
Well now, I’m off to Summerlicious. Who’s hungry?
Why So Serious?
1
It's all a matter of perspective.
The other day I had what has to be the most interesting job interview. Before I go on I will say in advance that I don’t know why I even go to these interviews knowing that I will in all likelihood be gone in September for a bit. I guess I just do them to keep my claws sharp and because lately I seem to be without the ability to say no to anything.
Anyway I walk in and am greeted by two people, a woman and a man. The woman seemed nice enough but the man, who was the executive director of the place was the no-nonsense type. In fact he didn’t seem to be in possession of a sense of humor at all. His questions to me were along the lines of “do you find yourself to be cynical or arrogant?” to which I replied “yes and yes.”
I don’t know what possessed me to say what I said next, but out it came and it sounded like this: “you seemed to be troubled that I answered in the affirmative to a question that is almost rhetorical” …awkward silence. I apologized and explained that I am usually able to read people pretty well in a way that was desirable to an employer. To which he replied: “so am I. I used to work in the secret service and I have a feeling you have some history with a similar organization.”
Shit. How did he know? In that moment I took some time to pause and assess the situation. Had I known that I would be talking to an ex secret service agent I would have prepared a little differently. Perhaps armed myself? I mean with some better questions… The thing is that the organization he now heads is quite the opposite of his former station. A non-profit, charitable organization is quite a far cry from the world of spies and subterfuge. I didn’t have the audacity to ask him what he was doing here considering the latter, but he sure had the gall to ask me. The rest of the interview was a write-off. We just sat there playing our strange game of mental chess as we tried to read each other while his assistant looked on in bewilderment. Although I expended a significant amount of brain power to hold this conversation with the Israeli Sean Connery, any leftover braincells were conjuring up little images of how hilarious he would look if he was in a tutu and hooker boots.
The next part of the conversation is classified but what I can tell you is that, despite the exceedingly awkward interview, it all ended up with a few laughs and, surprisingly, a serious job offer on the table and he wanted an answer within 24 hours. Ultimately I called back the next and declined because it was not for me but despite it all I kind of liked the guy, even if he reminded me of a cold war holdout. Although I’m sure that in his eyes I reminded him of some overqualified joker with a smart mouth at when we first began to talk.
Fair enough
No More Cancer, No More Fear
9
I’ve been playing this pretty close to the chest, everyone. I didn’t want to worry people and I’m certainly not the type to fish for sympathy so I kept this one hush hush for the most part. My first post on this blog kind of jumped the gun. Almost 2 months ago I went to see the doctor about a mysterious lump in my chest and his prognosis was mixed so he sent me for an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician told me that there was definitely something there but that I was going to be fine. I stupidly took that as meaning that everything was fine. I tend to be optimistic.
So that day I started my blog as a way to celebrate life, talk about what I’m doing with my life, and shine the spotlight on my good friends, old and new, because they have really made an impact on me. Then the bad news came a few days later. A phone call saying that the doctor wanted to see me in person immediately to discuss the test results. It wasn’t a good feeling. He told me that there was a good chance that the lump was a tumor and then referred me to a specialist. It was 2 weeks between my last meeting with the doc and the specialist. In that time I haven’t breathed a word about my condition to more than 5 people. Yesterday I saw the surgeon/specialist and it was tense because it was the day I would get the news on whether I would need to go through the rigors of cancer treatment or get a clean bill of health.
Let. The. Man. Work. Jesus.
I don’t get nervous too often. Perhaps it’s an emotion that I reserve for the final 30 minutes before I take the stage, but the fact that this surgeon’s office was packed with religious symbols threatened to break my cool. This painting on his wall was just brutal. It really could be interpreted one of two ways: Either Jesus is with the surgeon and is guiding his hand to success OR (and I tended to lean towards this one) Jesus is hanging around because he’s about to receive a new soul for his flock. Pardon the tasteless pun but all I could think was “Holy shit, I’m a dead man!”
You cannot begin to imagine the overwhelming sense of relief and joy that fell upon me when the surgeon told me that I was going to be alright and that he was “100% sure” this time that there is no cancer! My life-long friend and de-facto attorney,Mark, (pictured at the top of this post in an inquisitive state) came with me to the office and I just had to jump on him right there in the waiting room with the good news. Best. Hug. Ever. (no homo).
So what’s a man to do with this good news? Karaoke with the best people in Toronto! That’s what! last night’s loserkaraoke was just epic. I only told a few people about my reason to celebrate because this, to me, was a private little victory. It was a reminder of how I need to press on with my dreams and pursue the paths that lay before me. To make my father (rest his soul) proud and to build something that will help my fellow man in the future.
I got a lot accomplished yesterday, inquired about all the professional loans I needed to pay the exorbitant tuition for law school and spent a good day with a friend who I’ve known for about 26 years, not counting the years I wasn’t sentient, I hope that the friends I’ve made and am making now in Toronto will get to know me as well as Mark does and will stay in touch for many years to come. Although law school will take me out of Toronto for a little while I know now that my roots are there and I will march on with my friends and family in Toronto in my heart. Cancer free.
How to enjoy life
71 year ago
People have this common sentiment that life and happiness is some kind of profound mystery. Perhaps scientifically there are some things about life we can’t explain thoroughly with any real authority (i.e. like why hotdogs come in packs of 8 and buns come in packs of 12) but other than that I don’t think that life and happiness is that big of a mystery.
I suspect that much of the confusion that gets people all tangled up in this idea of life and happiness as a mystery comes from a tendency to over complicate things and attach value to physical things. However somewhere in the mix and thrice removed from an item’s original intended purpose, people forget about the whole point of that thing they bought, that food they ate, or that device that is supposed to make life easier.
What am I talking about, you may be asking. Well let me throw this out there: I think life and the pursuit of happiness can be simple. It’s just a matter of what you NEED rather than what you crave. Hopefully without sounding like a dogmatic pedagogue I would like to submit my basic formula for life. I call it the Holy Trinity of Happiness Here it is:
Michael Nus Holy Trinity of Happiness. Click to Enlarge.
Duh! Right? Well, you would be surprised at how many people I’ve met who are missing one or more of the three needs! The basic principle of the Holy Trinity is that there are really only 3 things you need in life, while everything else are just wants that are band-aid solutions like useless possessions. The Trinity is a visual representation of my philosophy and I’m always able to use it to troubleshoot my life if ever I’m feeling blue. I believe that the “secret” to happiness is the presence of all three of the needs in one’s life. They are also connected and dependent on one another. For example you need food to have the strength to fuel your passion or love, you need love (or even sometimes the loss of it from one person in your life at some point) to be able to express yourself and appreciate art and, unless you plan to subsist on traditional 18th century prison rations, you can indulge your creativity in glorious food in all its forms, colors, flavors and origins.
I think a good example would be that vacation you once took to an exotic destination that amazed you and left you longing for a return to that place someday. For example, you could go to Brazil and take in the beautiful food, the lively music and the free love. Or you can go to Israel or Greece and bask in the warmth of the hospitality of its citizens as they tell you stories of their rich cultural histories over a strong coffee, delicious food, some Ouzo or Arak, and lively songs at the bazouki or margoa. You can also find the Trinity right at home, like I did when I returned to Toronto. I’ve lived in BC, New York and abroad and I have fallen in love with this city and found my Trinity here. Although I am able to take it with me anywhere I go, I will always know that Toronto, to me, is nice and heavy on the love part so I love the people in it right back. It’s why I started this blog and am in the process of dedicating an entire section of this website to my friends. Conversely my friend Angie visited Costa Rica last year and found that her Holy Trinity lay there. She calls this phenomenon “Pura Vida” (Pure Life) and decided to leave her workaday life in Mississauga to a place more suited to her needs as a person who is very passionate about surfing. She will be missed.
Back to the diagram: Take away any one of the three and you will notice that you can get pretty depressed, or even die (no food = dead MichaelNus). For example you may eat well and create brilliant works of art but be a misunderstood artist with no friends and family because you have pushed them all away. So in the absence of love many of us turn to an ersatz surrogate of some kind to fill that void. We may pay for “love”, do drugs or alcohol in excess or worse. How many celebrities do we know who seem to have all the friends in the world but still drink and drug themselves right into rehab or the grave.
Conversely you can have love and food but become so busy or caught up in love that you forget to take care of yourself. You may even lose yourself in a lover and forget what made them love you in the first place. You could get “whipped” or lose the power to make decisions for yourself. The person who loves you may even be overbearing and make decisions for you, choose all the decorations, tell you what colour to wear etc. You might even find yourself telling yourself you like the same things as your partner just to keep the status quo. But what about that fact that you love cartoons or that little something silly that makes you happy? End result is devastating to your personal well being. Divorce rate over 50%? Check.
I could go on for ages and there are limitless possibilities.
On Sex:
You will notice that I didn’t include Sex in the love part. The reason for that is because it’s a given. You can have sex with your friends and lovers (hopefully not your family or pets) and as great as it is, it does not necessarily make you happy all by itself as a life pursuit. We all know about break-up sex, one-night stands, quickies, obligated sex etc. and I know more than a few people who have a different partner every other day but are truly miserable because there’s no love at any point. It’s about the companionship at the end of the day. Sure casual sex is great fun, but there has to be a counter balance to it – It should not be the only goal. I view it more under the category of fun in the yellow circle, but it is definitely not a substitute for real love from your friends and companions. Some of you may say “but I REALLY love to have casual sex” and I understand that. The upshot is that sometimes you may find that a casual sex partner understands you better than most people simply because you are both honest with each other in your intentions. Who knows, it could later turn into something more.
On Money:
Of course we can’t avoid the subject of money. It’s so easy to say that money can’t buy happiness, but ask a person living on the street if they believe that and they will kick your ass. The only thing is that it’s actually true to an extent. Money can be viewed as a by-product of the Trinity. Chances are that if you are happy, you can remain positive and find a way to make money. If you just can’t seem to get someone to hire you, you can start your own business or ask a friend for help (Creativity + Love). If they are real friends they WILL help. Many people make money but are trapped in a job they hate so they spend their money in ways meant to pick up the slack. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though. I know lawyers who work very hard but play even harder so they find the balance. As long as you live in civilized society you’re going to have to accept that money is a lubricant but it should not be your goal and sure can’t buy happiness. God knows I spend money like it’s burning a hole in my pocket, but I would much rather spend it on an experience than some sort of degradable object. So if I spend it on a swimming pool or a car anything big like that, you can bet that I bought those things for the purposes of sharing with my friends. I got certified in SSI SCUBA diving so I could share my stories and experiences with my landlubber friends and hopefully entice a few to try it with me. One thing I know for certain though is that you can make all the money in the world, but you can’t take it with you when you’re six feet under. So work but make sure you work on yourself too. If you can love what you do for work, then great! But that doesn’t mean that you should live to work. Make time for others who don’t do what you do for a living despite how much you love your work.
On Longevity:
Who wants to exist forever? Not me. If we’re happy we will probably live a long life anyway. Notice how I use the word “live” and not “exist.” The reason for that is that so many people just exist until they die. They will age, buy into RRSPs, work, work, work, save, save, save and take few, if any risks. And what is there to show for it? Perhaps a nice room at a retirement home while your kids bumble around towards the same end. I would much rather LIVE for 5 years than exist for 100. But if I could LIVE for 100 then giddy up. Enough said.
Conclusion:
It’s simpler than you think. Think about any point in your life when you were feeling down or frustrated and then look look at the diagram of the Holy Trinity. You may find that it will help you, as it has helped me, to overcome misery even at its worst. Even the little things can count for a lot.
So be silly, be creative, go wild! Travel, eat, love, create, think, do, relax, hug, kiss, fuck, sing, write, flourish, be gay, be straight, be bi, be spiritual (but don’t force others to be) be proud and be proud of others and for heaven’s sake don’t take life too seriously!! You have all the time in the world, but hurry up will ya?!
Here’s a video I made for you!
Downtown, everything’s waiting for you
71 year ago
STOP!
Before you begin to read this post click play on this widget:
You may now continue with this song playing as you read =)
My new found love affair with Toronto continues. I don’t even know where to begin so I guess I will start with just the last few days. By the way, HUGE appy polly loggies to my readers for disappearing for the last couple days. Won’t happen again, I pLomise.
I would say that around Wednesday is when things got busy so I will break it down. Note that, as per the title of this post, all of the events described herein have occurred downtown.
It’s no secret that much of the social media game is being, well, social. If you were under the impression that we social media managers just sit behind computers all day writing blogs then you’re sorely mistaken. Consider that for a blog to be engaging and entertaining there must be something to blog about. Sure I can lock myself in my room all day and write depressing poetry but I would sorely limit my audience to a small demographic of like-minded emo kids with one too many Smiths albums. The rest of us “conformists” like to get out in the summer and meet new people, hang out with good friends and, dare I say, support one another in our respective endeavours whether we’re trying to get the word out about a product we’ve created, a website we love and curate, or just to bounce ideas off one another as a wonderfully creative community. So why do I go and hang with the social media circle jerk? Because when the toast in the center is all but eaten, you find that you’ve made some pretty awesome friends.
Anyway so here’s part of the recap of Wednesday alone!
Social Media Day Mashable Meetup at The Madison Street Pub.
Ah, The Maddy pub. My old friend, my worst enemy. Right up until I left Toronto originally the Madison was always the epitome of animal house.
If you’ve never been there, imagine a pub that is made up of 3 multi-level heritage houses that has multiple bars, several patios, lots of room and is a labyrinth full of secret passages to different parts of the establishment. Now imagine that the place is smack dab in the middle of U of T frat house country and you will get the picture. The Madison is, in a word, hell. A drunken fighting, loud talking, beer flowing, college hell – and it’s close to my heart…like a narrow-miss bullet wound.
I think many people have a love/hate relationship with the Maddy, but as for me my love for that place was so strong that I could never go there again for my own health. But that was many years ago and Mashable was doing a meetup there and had free cupcakes!
Plus the infamous Scott Stratten (@unmarketing) and the equally infamous Casie Stewart were doing keynote speaking spots there, so I decided to suck it up and get over to the old Maddy pub to network a bit before heading off to my good friend Jeremy Wright’s birthday at my NEW drunken, loud talking, beer flowing grownup hell, Tequila Sunrise.
In all I would say that the experience was positive, if not short lived. Short lived simply because there were just too many people there to really maximize your networking opportunities. I mean the joint was packed. When it’s that packed people tend to seek out others they already know and just cling to them. Although I managed to meet a few new folks, I also sought out some familiar faces. So guilty as charged. Regardless I still very much enjoyed Scott’s rant and Casie’s tips on how to manage multiple personalities…online. Here are the videos.
After that it was off to Jeremy’s 31st birthday at Tequila Sun Rise, and the funny thing is that many of the people I met or met up with at Mashable showed up there too. I think it’s safe to say that Karaoke with Jason Rolland is one of, if not THE best, karaoke experience in Toronto. It’s a great place to sing new and current songs (unlike the shitty Gladstone hotel, which Rochelle and I call Geezer Karaoke) and chat with our little contingent of social media gurus. Going to Loser Karaoke is what began my new love affair with Toronto, Who knew a tiny bar on Adelaide and Simcoe could melt my contempt for this city? It goes to show that it’s not the place you’re in, it’s the people that are in there with you that make all the difference. Here are some pictures from that night. I tried to get as many people as possible to wear these rad glasses with flip down shades! The rest of the set is on my Flickr account.
Memories of LoserKaraoke: click to enlarge
If you’re reading this and you’re feeling lonely, come to loser karaoke downtown, where everything’s waiting for you. If you search #loserkaraoke on twitter you will get all the details nearing each Thursday, when we do it. We’ll be there.
Toronto has soccer hooligans?!
21 year ago
Many of you know my story: Although I was born and raised in Toronto I’ve been away for about 6 years before returning almost a year ago to recharge my batteries and start a new chapter. There were many reasons why I left my hometown but a big part of the reason was because I just didn’t appreciate it enough. (read my apology to Toronto HERE). I wasted a good amount of creativity into coming up with reasons to just hate on this great city and I think that part of it had to do with the fact that I was living at home away from all the action in the main downtown core. Going downtown was a novelty for me and I didn’t really explore it the way I have been doing recently. Going into the city meant just hanging around Queen West or Eaton Centre without enough money to really buy anything I wanted, seeing the occasional opera or rock concert at the Guvernment or Lee’s Palace or going to some stupid club with a 15 dollar cover charge and drinks that costed just as much. The problem was that I would bring my boring suburban friends with me so we would just be downtown but in a suburban mindset – i.e. “well it’s 12:00 and I should be getting home, I don’t want to drink too much because I have xyz to do tomorrow and I suck.” My friends have always seen me as sort of the loose cannon with a hinged tongue and a lust for life mixed with an almost self-destructive adrenaline addiction in my youth. Perhaps it was because I was always looking for more and didn’t grow up with the same sensibilities as most of them. Although I tend to speak rather softly most of the time, when I need to say something I can talk a blue streak.
I grew up in a boisterous and loud Italian/European/Mediterranean household. Loud meaning that you could be less than 3 feet from someone and they would still talk loud enough to be heard across the street but would not actually be shouting in anger. When I watched TV and my mom would have other loud people over I would have to crank the volume to max and that would still not be enough to hear every word so I would just lock myself in my room and read a book after loudly telling them to stop being so loud and suggesting they get their ears checked because they surely had severe cases of partial deafness to have to talk that loud.
Yes, the urinal has a little goal with a ball to piss on
But I left Toronto because outside of my home many of the people I knew didn’t know how to have fun and had a tendency to be pretty flaky. However for better or worse, I am still a loyal friend so at first I took out my frustration on the city itself. I used to complain that we didn’t have a proper opera house, or good music venues, good bands or a good lifestyle in general. I would envy European countries too and long to be in a place where people lived life and came together instead of rat-racing through their petty existence. The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was the most unlikely thing: Soccer. I noticed that all around Toronto and York Region there were some GREAT soccer fields but no one would really use them to their fullest potential. I even lived near Esther Shiner Stadium, where I used to play as a kid for the North York Hearts under the tutelage of my soccer star dad and I remember always being so disappointed in the generally crappy experience that was the Canadian Soccer League (CSL). The stands were rarely filled, the announcer was a 35 year old pedophile and the scorekeeper would pretty much be asleep at the wheel and not even bother to update the scoreboard when a goal was scored. The whole thing was such a joke that my brother and I, aged 10, would actually go to the scorekeeper’s box and hit the button to add a point to the electronic score board! The snack bar sucked, the players sucked, the games sucked and the spectators sucked. I don’t even think they bothered charging for tickets most of the time. My dad would take us there pretty much to pass the time and show us examples of how NOT to play soccer. We would always wait till the games were over so we could bum around the field and learn to shoot penalty kicks and bend the ball on the manicured pitch, which was always a nice change from the chewed up muddy pitches at G. Ross Lord park.
So as an adult I went to BC to go to university and the first thing I did was join the intramural soccer league for my love of the game. Boy did I ever play hard just because I was jonesing for some action. I would slide tackle, rush the crease, and grind my teeth when a team mate could not handle a pass or a cross near the net but I still loved it! Every Sunday, rain or shine I would be there despite balancing a 6 course load with my duties as an oarsman on the Varsity Rowing Team 6 days a week at 6:30 in the morning before starting my first class at 8:30.
Then I come back to Toronto and what do I find? I find good people, good fun, a new opera house, great bands, great venues and…A NEW FOOTBALL CLUB?! At some point during the past 3 years of my absence Toronto did away with the old CSL and joined MLS to create the Toronto FC, complete with legions of ravenous fans that act just as crazy as any European soccer hooligan. The players, unlike those in the old CSL, even cared enough about the games to take dives to force a free kick! Did I mention the fans!? A sea of drunken lunatics in red with their scarves, MASSIVE flags, drums and official chants and cheers! I was so shocked and in complete awe what I missed the opening kickoff because I was staring in disbelief at how insane BMO field was. Nearly packed stands, gallons of beer and fans that would be glued to the game even in the pouring rain! And boy did it piss rain that day.
To be honest, the skill level still wasn’t all there, especially in the shadow of the World Cup 2010, but that changed nothing about the experience. The game tied at nil-nil between TFC and LA Galaxy (Beckham’s team) but the TFC fans still partied after the match as if TFC had won! Maybe the point of going to a TFC match is to revel in the hooliganism more than it is to actually watch the game, but who cares! It was so much fun that I would go again! Thanks to @bigthinkerjon and casiestewart for hooking me up with the match and the rad TFC scarf!
A truly wise and humble man at G20
31 year ago
A collage from some of the photos I took at the demonstrations
I had a really full day downtown yesterday that started with an innocuous burrito with a good friend at Z-Teca, a quick stop at Mountain Equipment Co-op for hiking shoes, a G20 protest, followed by a G20 riot and then a rousing soccer match at BMO field with none other than @casiestewart and a host of folks she invited to the game. I will have a whole post on the soccer match shortly but I wanted to cover the G20 since it’s just about over and done with.
Without beating you over the head with this I would say that the whole G20 thing has been a massive exercise in good old fashioned bullshit. Although most of the bullshit I would say weighs heavily on some of the protesters. Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for peaceful protests as long as they are at the very least unified in their cause. What bugs me is when just about every minority bloc with a bone to pick shows up hollering about their little qualm about this, that or the other. What ever happened to unified protests like those of the 60s and 70s? Protests against the draft, protests against disenfranchisement at the polls! Those worked because the mob focused on the same goal and eventually got what they want. ALSO they made sure that their voices were heard at the polling stations at election time. Where are the REAL hippies who had something to fight for OTHER than legalizing pot and more Phish concerts.
Where the f**k were Canadians during the last federal election? Lowest voter turnout in history – that’s where. I’m even even-handed on the riot bit. It’s one thing to attack police if, again, you’re all unified as one voice and they are just not listening. But just to attack because they are lined up with shields (and apparently with good reason considering the burning police cars, smashed windows, etc) at a gathering of leaders to discuss global economy is just silly.
In true anarchist form, I stole this pic from @rxsheepxr then smashed his monitor. I'm not paying for the damage.
Guess what: if you want to affect change in your home country, go vote. If you want Canada to embrace communism, vote communist, but don’t cry when you realize that you are part of a very small minority within the population that wants that. I am not a huge Harper fan but at least I voted against him. But like I said above, where were all the angry protesters when the polling stations were open? Making pipe bombs? Spraying badly spelled graffiti on a humble shopkeeper’s storefront? Trying to get laid by anarchist chickies who just love “bad boys” but won’t use a dirty capitalist condom? Posting on some anarchist forum on the web about how they hate capitalism, while ignoring that they are using “capitalist” ISPs and “capitalist” MacBooks free of prohibition to, as in Communist China, to speak their minds freely with like-minded people online or anywhere really.
Ask a Falun Gong practitioner how they are treated in China under the communist regime simply for their philosophy that differs from that of the State’s prescribed philosophy then shut up and listen. In short, most, people have 2 ears for listening and 1 mouth for talking/screaming/complaining – perhaps it’s time to use our ears and mouths in that proportion for a change?
So ANYWAY I got caught downtown last night and had to get back home early to help my mom get to the airport early this AM (she needed me to lift her 3 incredibly heavy suitcases) and I got a taxi from near the security fence all the way to North York. The driver was a man from Ghana and we got to talking about our feelings about the protest. You know my angle, so I will just relay his. His feelings about the riot were so simple and beautiful. In his thick accent, it went something like this.
“I come from poverty in Africa and I feel lucky to be here. Here in Canada, if I have no money I can work. If I can’t work, there is welfare. If I’m sick, I see a doctor, free of charge. When I need to use the washroom I have a toilet indoors to sit on behind a door and when I’m hungry I can put food in my mouth. Even those people who have less than me here in Canada can fill their mouths with food that even at its worst, is better than porridge. These anarchists and protesters are spoiled and are going to jail for nothing. The riot police will soon be gone. I love my family and I would never risk going to jail for nothing. If I have a true and real reason to despair with my friends and the people are with me as one, I will fight and die. But as long as my new home in Canada supports me and my wife and kids, who I love, I do not have to fight or die and neither do my friends.”
You never know when you will meet someone who is so brilliant without bragging about it. This hard working, humble, taxi driver’s worldview was simple and eloquent without a hint of the rampant pedantic pedagogy that is so common among many of the so-called enlightened protesters who showed up in force with a million axes to grind but without a single sharp mind among them to think about their issues from both sides of the whetting stone. Don’t even get me started on the unions who wasted valuable union dollars to be at that protest while claiming money is being squandered, or the socialists and communists who blame all the world’s ills on capitalism while enjoying life in the very type of state they so revile that allows free speech – so long as their idea of free speech does not punctuate their rhetoric with Molotov cocktails in place of periods.
/rant off
VaughanforMayor
I have to agree. I had funeral pictures for my Father on Monday, on Wednesday morning my BB 9900 went bust. I brought it into a Telus […]
1 day ago
TheDanLevy
At least you were able to realize before everything blew up! Now you can move forward and kick some serious anus!
3 days ago
Michael Nus
@ejbrooks:twitter You're the best, Emma.
2 weeks ago
Ryan Nus
Don't beat yourself up. Now that you've shed ego, you can realize self love. A much more powerful motivator.
2 weeks ago
Emma Brooks
Great post, Nus! The transformation that comes out of an accelerator sounds like it's not just the product, but the people, who grow and […]
2 weeks ago
